Feeling Lost? Ask Yourself This One Question

We all want options. The more of them, the better. Why limit yourself to a few options when you can have many? 

That way, you can choose the absolute best fit for you. You won’t have to settle. 

But here’s the irony:

The power of choice can make you feel powerless. The freedom it brings can make you feel stuck.

Why?

You may face what’s called the “paradox of choice.” It’s when you’re presented with too many options, and you don’t know which one to choose.

Choosing one thing means not choosing another. What if you choose the wrong thing? What if you can’t go back, and you’re left with nothing?

So much is riding on the line — your hope, your happiness, your loved ones, your life. 

And you just want to do the right thing.

Problem is, you trick yourself into inaction. You think so hard about which path is best, that you choose no path at all. And because you haven’t wielded your power — the power of choice — you start feeling lost.

But enough about the problem. How do you solve it?

You have to take what you know, weigh the pros and cons, and go for it. Even if the outcome isn’t guaranteed.

So I encourage you to ask yourself:

“What have I committed to?”

There’s so much to learn about yourself in asking this question. And you can forever build on the answer.

You can even think about this question as it relates to others. The answer will shed light on who those people are, and the roles they play in your life.

The Difference Between Sayers and Doers

Commitment separates those who just say, “I’ll do it” from those who do it. It shows us who we are and what we’re capable of. It reveals others’ true colors.

It shows our grit, our gusto, our greatness.

And if you haven’t guessed, I’m all about it. I believe commitment is the key to stop feeling lost and unlock the power to achieve our dreams.

Commitment comes into play at various points in our lives. 

We commit first to making choices. Second, to following through. Third, to making more choices, to stay true to ourselves and our goals.

Commitment is a courageous act. And it can be learned.

I couldn’t predict where life would take me when I began my legal career. And when life changed, I didn’t let my prior commitment prevent me from making new ones that better aligned with my goals. 

This isn’t to say that commitments should be taken lightly. Whether you commit to meeting a friend for lunch or getting married to someone you love, commitment means something. It can often be quite serious.

But don’t let that hold you back from choosing to commit to something. The ability to commit will help you stay focused on the goals you have now. It’ll help you stop feeling lost as you pursue certain paths. And it’ll enable you to change course if the uncertainty of life demands it.

Be Willing to Close Doors

If you’re afraid to make commitments that will close doors, don’t be. 

You have to make choices to discover what’s best for you. And more often than not, you have to close some doors to open others.

For example, committing to a healthy diet means closing the door on unhealthy foods, to an extent (I’m still a fan of throwing in some treats and cheat days, here and there!).

While I personally would love to live a life filled with daily Margherita pizzas, Oreo McFlurries, and carrot cake, committing to eating healthily is worth the sacrifice.  

Even if you close a door that you later want re-opened, that’s okay! It’s okay to make a choice you later feel was the wrong one. Sometimes, you might even make a choice that’s “right” for one chapter of your life, and wrong for another.

You might even feel you’ve made the wrong choice entirely. You hoped for the best, and things didn’t pan out. You’re feeling lost.

Now, you just want a do-over. 

But can we celebrate your bravery for a second? 

I know that might sound a little eye-roll worthy. But it’s true. 

It’s not easy to come across a fork in the road, and choose a path. Many will simply make a u-turn. And after doing so, they may always wonder, “What if?”

My guess is that you’re not a “what if” kind of person. You made a choice, stood by it, and are now wondering if you should choose the other fork in the road. 

Perhaps you don’t see a fork in the road at all. You just see a path’s end, and you’re not sure where to go next.

Sometimes, the paths you can take are hidden. They don’t always pop out at you. You may have to venture out into “the wild,” commit to exploration, and see what reveals itself to you. You may even have to forge paths that never existed before. (And yes, you can do this!)

In other words: you are the driver of your life — not the paths laid out before you. 

I’d go to therapy, explore different tools to foster better communication, practice gratitude, and more. In this situation, my intent would be to stand by my lifelong commitment. 

Your commitment may be different. Perhaps you committed to a certain career, moved to a new place, entered a long-term relationship, or invested time in certain friends, for example.

In any case, sometimes commitments end. Sometimes, they must. It’s up to you to decide. 

If you decide to end your commitment(s), know it’s going to be okay. 

Sometimes, we have to change course, ensure our choices align with who we are now, and move forward. It’s a form of self-evolution.